see, i thought i told you so
these past few weeks i realized my thoughts aren't getting across as clear as i would assume. it's the classic case of "see i told you so," except that apparently, from the other's point of view, i didn't say it so. i just thought it so.
this would rile me up so much, riled my ego up that credit couldn't go to me. i couldn't be seen as someone with the brightest ideas, thought-provoking statements. that i wasn't who i thought i was, that i didn't have as much effect on people as i had thought.
this long period i'm in is a reckoning with this body and wondering if this is all i'm capable of. but if you have the capacity to think that, wouldn't that mean you'd have the ambition, the spirit to go beyond?
what i would give to have a whole, healthy sense of self.