hitting the brakes and gliding down slowly
drifting apart from friends isn't always something that just happens. i feel like im consciously choosing to drift away this time.
but i wonder if i can justify it in a sense that i'm just doing what i feel is right with me. we're all striving to better ourselves, i can feel it. i can see it, especially with them, but i struggle to see it in myself. i know there are changes but it feels so small, only because i'm always viewing myself in comparison to them.
like they've leapt strides ahead of me and probably old me would feel resentment for not being able to keep up and the changes i would force on myself would be rooted in wanting to compete or keep up rather than what i feel might be more useful for my own growth.
it's not like i'm indulging in my liberal behavior, but just slowing down and taking things at my own pace, ensuring i process things properly rather than speeding through my experiences for the sake of belonging.
disappointments will be a big part of this, i can feel. but maybe that's when acceptance feels more real.